The US and KIDS PODCAST

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058 | Us & Kids: Pregnancy and Loss

Inspiration from this Episode

“It is a grief no one is anticipating. In the pregnancy process, we are anticipating life, not death.”

“It is really impacted in some ways by what our hopes and dreams and our plans were.”

“If you need to, be your own advocate. If you need another opinion, get another opinion.”

 

058 | Us & Kids: Pregnancy and Loss

 

Intro  

On today’s show, we are talking about how to stay married forever and parent together even when you have experienced a miscarriage or early infant loss. It can be hard to keep a marriage together under such great emotional strain.

I interviewed Nancy Kingma, MA, LLP. She is an expert in my area who has worked in pregnancy loss and infant loss for over 40 years. We talk through the experiences no one ever wants to have happen so I asked a variety of questions and I will share today some of her responses.

 

What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode

  • The...
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057 | Us & Kids: Muscles and Emotions

Inspiration from this Episode

“All of these things take emotions - and our kids are learning how to do things - physically and emotionally by watching us.”

“So, to become more calm, more quickly, we might practice using courage in the face of fears.”

“Just like muscles, the more emotions you have working well within you, the stronger, more confident, gracious and loving you can be.”

 

057 | Us & Kids: Muscles and Emotions

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are going to talk one more time about emotions - in comparison to our muscles. We’ve been talking a lot about emotions - and EQ - that emotional intelligence. You’ve probably noticed that we have a variety of muscles and rely on them everyday. 

We also want you to have a good variety of emotions that you use everyday. So, make a short list of the emotions that you experience each day for a week and see what you notice. Be sure to use the printable or the...

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056 | Us & Kids: EQ, Marriage and Kids

Inspiration from this Episode

“Marriage is not a set it and forget it kind of endeavour.”

“Our very first question is around the marriage mindset. What do you think about marriage? What do you hope will do for you? What do you expect to get out of marriage? Why are you marrying the other person?

“A lot of times people get married thinking they are going to fix or change the other person, and they are often sorely disappointed.”

 

056 | Us & Kids: EQ, Marriage and Kids

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we have my friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen, who is going to talk to us about the six things we need for getting our marriage started well and keeping it running smoothly.

Mark works a lot with pre-marriages and new marriages and helping them get off on the right foot. He shares with us the key indicators that he looks for and identifies when looking at the path for future marriages.

 

What You’ll Learn in...

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055 | Us & Kids: EQ and You - How to Become More Emotionally Smart

Inspiration from this Episode

“It’s not having emotions that’s the problem, it’s how we manage those emotions.”

“Move away from those seven big emotions, and move towards something more specific.”

“As a spouse it is part of your duty to just sit and listen, but that comes with the territory. Just sit and listen to somebody share their emotion.”

 

055 | Us & Kids: EQ and You - How to Become More Emotionally Smart

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we have my good friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen joining us. He knows all about emotional intelligence and we are going to talk all about how to become more emotionally smart.

This impacts our marriages and parenting in such wonderful ways when we use it well. Join Mark and myself for a great interview, conversation about emotional intelligence and how it interacts with both our marriages and our kiddos.

 

What You’ll Learn in...

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052 | Us & Kids: Keys To Your Car & Relationships

Inspiration from this Episode

“If it doesn’t fit together well, the relationship doesn’t work as well.”

“This represents a relationship where we are clicking together even though we don’t have to be exactly matched up at the moment.”

“We want you to be able to comfort each other compassionately, wisely, with encouragement.”

 

052 | Us & Kids: Keys To Your Car & Relationships

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are taking a little more lighthearted approach and we’re talking about keys. More specifically talking about car keys but we will start out with just keys in general. We use keys for things like our home, car, maybe a bike lock, but what do they have to do with a relationship anyways?

A key by itself without a lock or something to go into, is not usually of much value. We find loose keys around the house and they eventually get thrown because they are for something we don’t have or use...

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051 | Us & Kids: Back to School One Way or Another

How to keep the back-to-school-crazy out of the kids and you!

Inspiration from this Episode

“Your kindness in this is really important to them feeling confident.”

“You’re the person who is going to absorb some of this fear and trade that fear in for them with some calmness and some courage.”

“It’s their brains' way of figuring it out and getting rid of the fear that doesn’t have words.”

 

051 | Us & Kids: Back to School

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about the big topic of going back to school. I know going back to school for our kids right now and for us parents just feels daunting and weird. I'm sure by now you have looked through what your schools are offering and what the choices are for online versus in person.

Remember that the best thing you can do for your kiddo, no matter where they're going, is to be supportive of them. You are the best buffer for them against the stress they are...

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049 | Us & Kids: Regression & Stress with Kids

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Inspiration from this Episode

“This can happen by the stacking up of one small fear after another, and feeling intimidated over and over again.” 

“So, help your child get this storyline right and understand that even when they don't get what they want, they still are valued, and important to you into the household.”

“You have gained understanding about your kiddo’s thoughts and worries - acknowledging that this is hard, scary, and weird.”

 

049 | Us & Kids: Regression & Stress with Kids

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking all about regression and stress. These can be really scary and overwhelming words. Knowing the why, the where and the what-to-do can really help settle down the worry that comes with regressing.

Regression is usually when someone or something goes back(wards) to something that used to be. A kiddo might regress to fighting bedtime, or bathroom use, or baby talk. We usually regress...

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048 | Us & Kids: Goals, Depression and Real Life

Inspiration from this Episode

“Because it's physical energy not mental. However, mental injury and stress is true and real.”

“As you continue to build this positive thought into your self thought and talk, death of lies will slowly be edged out.”

“As he stayed in the present no matter how much he felt, he began to understand that the present was the safest and most sane place to be.”

 

048 | Us & Kids: Goals, Depression and Real Life

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about depression and how that affects our lives. Depression can make us feel really dead. Not like dead as in not alive, but dead alive but not able to engage in life. So our lungs can breathe and our heart can beat. But our brain can hardly think and our body can hardly move.

It's just not a fun place to be. No one wakes up in the morning thinking today I'll be depressed. It is heavy, and about it as impossible to stop as a car running over you. In...

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045 | Us & Kids: Big Emotion Explosion in our Kids

Inspiration from this Episode

“Sometimes characters from books or shows can help a kiddo validate or explain their feelings.  And then you can watch how the character resolves his “too big emotion” situation and see what applies in your home.”

“So, helping them learn how to self-sooth, and calm down, or tone down their emotions is wise.”  

“I am important, I am valued, I am not a failure, I can help, be included, and play an important role in my family.”

 

045 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions and Kids

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we're talking about big emotions in our kids. Last week, in episode 44, we talked about the adult brain and big emotions. There we split the brain into spaces where the emotions develop and where the feelings develop. 

Today we are focusing more on the emotional space because our kiddos are still developing their brains and so, where we can impact, for better mental health,...

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044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for Adults

Inspiration from this Episode

“It doesn’t always matter where we start. It just matters that we start somewhere.”

“There are some personalities that are a bit more prone to having really intense emotions.” 

“Learn what your body is trying to say - from the wee whisper of tension to the full intensity.”

 

044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for Adults

 

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about feelings - a pretty normal part of our life. At some points over our life and even 2020, we have ones we don’t really know what to do with. Where do those big feelings come from? Some of us have them a lot and often, and some of us have them rarely so when they show up we’re thinking “Where did this come from?”

This week we are talking about our emotions and next week we will talk about our kiddos. When we understand some of the triggers that might put us into tension and emotional states, we can be...

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