Transcript: 

The Nap - Sleeping, Depression and Your Health

 

Hi everyone. Welcome to the Us & Kids podcast. I am your host Jan Talen. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, a mom, a wife, and a grandma. This Us & kids podcast is about how to be married forever while you parent together because it's not an easy task. I encourage you to subscribe to Us and Kids in your favorite podcasting app. I'm glad you're here. Let's get going. Today we're talking about the nap. Yes, the sleeping time. Somewhere during the daytime when it's not that long overnight sleep time. We're going to talk a little bit about the why and the when and a little bit about depression or the oversleeping, so let's get going.

 

The why. Why would we say it's good for you to take a nap? Not at work perhaps, but if you're home, it's good for you to take a nap. It's also good for your kiddos to take a rest and a nap. Because what happens when we rest during the day, and this can be like closing your eyes and actually sleeping or it can be just really quiet and still lowering all of the stimulation including what's coming off from a screen. Because when we do this in the middle of the day or a couple of 10 minute sections during the day, the body has a chance to reset and lower the hormones that are running around due to stress or chaos or things are moving too fast or adds a bit of pressure of I'm not quite sure what to do with this, and those hormones settle down when we settle down and it doesn't have to be long, but a little bit goes a long ways.

 

We also take a nap because it's good to be alone. It helps us regroup to being our own selves instead of being wrapped up in the chaos of the crazy. Instead of absorbing what everyone else is thinking and doing and pulling back in to regather your own thoughts and your own emotions. You can think I'm pretty ramped up. Take a bit of a rest and ramp back down, slow it down. A rest for me also gave God time to comfort me and calm me. I could sort of refocus on what am I about here and I could rely on Him for some wisdom and some it's okay Jan, we got it together. Stick with me and I would get sort of spiritually reset as well. It also gives my brain a break. I hope it gives your brain a break too. That's why we say lower the phones.

 

Put the screens down. We read a book perhaps or something that's a little bit mindless, but give your brain a break. Let all the firing that has to go on there with being creative, being patient, problem solving, doing the normal multitasking in 17 different directions and let your brain settle down. As we do this odd time or two during the day, our ability to grow mentally and emotionally can happen. When we do regular exercise, we don't say, just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. We do it in reps, right? 10 of this pause, 20 of this pause, seven of this pause because it's in that pause that those muscles regroup a little bit and then are ready to strengthen and grow and go again. The same is true for our brains and for our coping skills that when we used them and then we pause.

 

They can sink into the brain a little bit more and the next time we go to use them there'll be a little bit stronger than they were last time. Also, for our kiddos it helps them grow. Sleeping is key importance to their muscles in their bones and all of the things underneath that skin to grow well and that's why we often really encourage where you can get them to continue to nap and to sleep well. Do that. Sleeping also lowers inflammation which lowers our emotionality and which also helps lower our crabiness because it gives us room to gain that self control. Okay. I hope I've made my case for, yeah, take yourself a little nap. I'm saying little. We'll talk about that in a minute. Now we're going to do a little acronym because you know I love them. Here it goes. N is for never napping.

 

Never. If you're driving, right, don't nap. If it's going to interrupt or interfere with your nighttime sleep, your nighttime sleep is more important than your daytime nap. If you can do both and get good quality out of both then do that, but if it's going to interfere with nighttime sleep, then back away from that nap and go more to a rest time or a quiet time. Don't nap if it's dangerous, maybe the kids are up, there's something on the stove, you're at work, something else. We don't know what else, but just sort of that evaluation of is this a good time to nap and actually think about that. I often told my kids when they were a little bit older, I'm very good at taking a five to seven minute nap and feeling like I have slept all night long. I know, amazing right? Sometime I'd called myself one of those dolls where if you lay them down, their eyes go closed, and if you sit them up, their eyes pop open.

 

So I can sleep like that, which is a wonderful gift. However, when I was raising my kids, I would say, I'm taking a seven minute nap in the days before cell phones. So I had a timer and it would go, tick tock, tick tock. I said, don't mess with my timer. As one of the kids sort of winked at the timer, and I said, call me if there's blood or fire, but those are the things you're looking out for, right? It has to be safe enough to sleep, and if you think there's a chance of blood or fire, I never did. Then pause and take a rest instead. Also, don't take a nap, this goes into your never if your care for others depends on your alertness to make sure their wellbeing is okay. So that's part of like, no, don't take a nap while your two year old is up.

 

I can't quite imagine the scenario where that is safe. Just pay attention. Right. All right. The next letter a always we went from never take a nap, right? To always. Why would we take a nap? Always take where you can. A short one that is less than 30 minutes. My caveat to this little aside is if you're sick, these rules sort of fly off the sideways, right? Aside from the safety rules, but otherwise naps for adults are best taken in less than 30 minutes. It doesn't then mess up with your Circadia rhythm patterns that are supposed to happen at nighttime. We'll do enough reset during the day to refresh yourself without making nighttime sleep distressing. Use a restful environment this goes under your nap, always your a uses restful of an environment as you can. The other day I needed a nap. I was out driving around my most restful environment was going to be my car and so I found a safe place.

 

I pulled in, laid that seat back. I set my timer and I took myself a 10 minute nap. Use it when it's safe, but where you know you need a nap in order to think clearly and it's safe to do that. Give yourself the grace permission to take that nap here. Efficiency is going to go way up if you can find a few minutes to nap. Now, if you're taking care of kiddos at home, that probably means resting when they're resting and not doing all the other things that you want to get done quick a minute. Well, your kiddos, the rest is probably longer than 30 minutes. Some will say we'll be lucky if we get a 50 minute nap out of our kiddos. Some kiddos are nipping two or three hours. We don't always have control over what those kiddos are doing as they grow, but remember that giving them the space to rest, insisting on it, making it a part of a regular routine is important for them.

 

Even if it was just quiet playing by themselves. Well, they can do that better as you continue to reinforce that that's what this is, and as you show, mommy's not doing anything fun either. Daddy's going to sit here and close his eyes a few minutes too. When you model it, they'll follow you. So what about the P? That last letter? They said there are times when would not be wise to nap. Right. That was the never. Then there was the always or work towards that short nap. Right, and talking some about how to nap well and now we're going to talk a little bit about this other space that can be called possibly and possibly has some of it. This question about, well what if I just need to sleep for a long time? I want two or three hours every afternoon and when I wake up I just can't wake up.

 

We have a couple of thoughts about that. One of them is let's check your anxiety or your depression or your loneliness because those three emotions are rather significant. They often can be blended and mixed up together but they can take a real toll on our energy levels. Emotions take energy, they use up energy and they use up calories and when we have those things running, if I have anxiety running at about a three and depression, running at about a five and mixed in with that is some loneliness for an extra two points I have three plus five is seven plus two is nine. Nine out of 10 of my energy is going into the emotions. No wonder you're tired. So for that are going to have to do another podcast, but I might also encourage you to take a look around where you live and see ones if you can get some help with your anxiety or your depression so that that energy drain from those emotions can go away.

 

Maybe not totally away but down, at least. You see it over napping, when we sleep a long time, puts our body systems asleep and waking them all up, all of those body systems inside of you, your heart, your lungs, your muscles, your ligaments, your intestinal systems, all of your wiring that goes on inside and your brain has been trained to continuously stay asleep. And so it takes more to wake it up, especially when you have to jarred awake, only to go back to feeling the anxiety and the depression. The napping helps us avoid dealing those emotions. It's a coping skill. It is. It's just not the best one to use consistently. And so I would encourage you if those naps are, because there's too much going on inside my head, too much in my brain, I can't think foggy all the time. Then get some other support and help.

 

If you need help finding someone, email me at [email protected] and I'll help you find somebody in your area. Okay? We want those emotions to go down to a manageable level. We all have emotions. They all take up part of our physical energy and part of our space. It's how we want them to help our life, not hinder it. And so that's my encouragement to you. It's let's get them. We can do things to help those emotions come into a better space. Let's do that so that you are in a better space. Other things to help with the rest and to help with those emotions that can feel way too big. Remember to eat real food, lower your caffeine, lower your alcohol, lower the sugar, eat protein, drink water, eat real fruits and veggies when you're hungry, when you're worried, go to something real. Your brain is saying it needs a little something more when you're trying to figure something out.

 

But now scramble an egg. Oh, or have a hard boiled egg ready to go. Drink some water because those things will help your brain think better than what sugar will. Move your body. We know over and over again that moving your body moves your brain. So throw up a little dance party for a few minutes. Pick your two favorite songs. Have your kids join in. We know that moving your body, make it up words to the song however you want. Will help your brain become more creative and problem solve things. It will also help to move those emotions. Some of them out of the way. They don't need to stay inside of you. They're really meant to get out of you and moving your body and singing can really help so does smiling, so does physical touch, so does working your to do list in a short list so that you see that you got things done.

 

So does praying and laughing and being with good friends. So this is sort of gone a bit from the why are we napping to rest to regroup. Doing it safely, modeling it for our kids, that being alone and resetting through out the day is a good thing to do so that they have that built into their psyche and into how they want to live is not in a perpetual state of chaos but more in a way of chaos. Reset, chaos. Reset. Okay. Sometimes chaos is fun and often for them it is fun. For us it's more anxiety producing. We're also gonna remember that if we're napping a whole lot, we might have some other things we should be looking at that would help us move into a better space for living and thinking and breathing. I want to encourage you to keep taking care of yourself. Keep looking down the road towards what do I want to be? How do I want my children to be? And to thinking about what is that end result? What am I desiring and building steps to get there for today?

 

You know what? So glad you stopped by and listened. You know, joining our Facebook page and paying attention to when DNA for Fun is up and ready for everyone to come and join is a great idea. Keep learning, keep hanging out with good people and keep inviting those dandy happy thoughts to stay in your brain and in your heart for awhile. Thank you again, and we'll talk to you later. Oh, of course, there's a printable, so don't forget to stop by and get that. Alright, talk to you later. Bye. Bye.