I have been a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist since 1986 and so have worked with families, marriages and kids in many different situations.
I have also read and understand in real life the research that affirms over and over that marriages undergo great stress whenever a little one is added to the household.
If that stress is not resolved well, the marriage is often compromised.
Over time, the relationship becomes “roommate or business-partner” level which then often dissolves when empty nesting arrives.
So very sad to me….and so often, so very painful and unnecessary.
However, we can work efficiently (because time is everything in a household with littles), to build the skills needed to stay connected as a couple and with our kids.
Often the core skills needed to resolve conflict, remain calm when stressed, deal with sickness and changing schedules, money, intimacy (momma, rock me! to Honey, kiss me!), ….are the same. They just are applied differently for kids than for your relationship.
And, when these skills are learned and used, the relationships at all ages are more stable and more able to weather the weather of being a family.
So, yes, I have a lot of professional knowledge and skill.
I also have used that knowledge to help (with the partnership of Chip, my husband) our family of 4 kids, (now adult!) grow up well while Chip and I enjoy grand-kids, work and play.
We work through the tough stuff together. We have spent nights talking, rethinking, trying to understand the other's perspective, and praying.
We have missed the mark from time to time and we have also been spot-on occasionally😊 Consistency, staying in it together with give and take and graciousness were key components of those parenting years.
And, we still use those skills now!
Joys and Reality of Grandkids
As I have a nice lap-full of grand-kids right now I am weekly reminded of the energy, mischief, needs, headaches, mess and joy that they can bring to our hearts.
I live the “oh no! what was that???” to “oh shoot…change you again??” to “sleep little one, please!!!”
Parenting is so challenging to our skills set and to our brains. Thinking like a little one is often head-ache building, until we start to (hopefully) giggle.
Listening, Learning and Leaning Into
Well... I'm not great at basketball but I'll play along and keep learning and practicing. I'll do the same with you...listen and learn from you, and use what I know to best equip and encourage your marriage and family into fun spaces and places!
The Goal is Good!
My goal at Us and kids is to encourage husbands and wives to stay well-connected while also building their parenting skills so that they can bond well with their kids. Your relationship and family is so worth challenge! I am here to teach, encourage, support and cheer you on.
With optimism and joy for you!
Weekly Podcasts
Married Forever while Parenting Together!
Good info and almost always, a handy handout:)
Introducing the
Us...and Kids Communications Program
Where your Dreams and Desires help your build the Necessary skills that you can Apply when talking with your partner and parenting your kids!