On today’s show we are talking all about parenting, new babies, and pretzels.  One of my daughters would probably say that pretzels were the snack that held her together through the first year of her kiddo’s life.  And, there is good reason for that. 

Pretzels can represent hugs, give a way to pause and think, distract from the depression and anxiety that can swamp new parents, and help couples remember to love and hug each other - and their kiddos. 

We will chat about 10 good ways to help you and your household reset with joy and connection after a new one comes home.  

These tips are good reminders, for your first baby - or your fifth.  

These are good reminders even if your baby, partner or even yourself is (acting like) a toddler, talker or tantrum-maker or teaser.  

So, join us and enjoy some easy upgrades to snacks and home life!  

What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode

• A tiny bit about pretzel...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“Remember that our skin, her skin, absorbs so many good messages about safety and about togetherness, and I’m there for you.” 

“She will reset not instantly but with ups and downs over the next few months.” 

“Because the best parenting here is usually to have some rules, expectations, to have rewards, and to have distractions.”

080 | Us & Kids: Adjusting to a Newborn

Intro  

So today’s show, we are going to talk a little bit more about the DNA process. We’ve been talking a lot about marriages lately and when I wanted to do was say, okay, let’s pay attention to those kiddos. So we’re just going to talk a little bit about one of your hopes and dreams.  

If you’re listening to Us and Kids, you probably had a desire to have a family, and that’s part of what that D is in the DNA. What are your dreams? What are your desires and...

Inspiration from this Episode

“How we parent one child is different from another based on their personality and place in development.”

“We need a willingness to share and a willingness to be compassionate and helpful.”

“They need support and the only way to get what they need is to ask for help.”

066 | Us & Kids: KIDS - Defined

Intro 

On today’s show, we’re going to talk about kids. Yes, those little monkeys that climb all over your furniture. Those little things that spill and don't seem to care or wonder why you do care so much. Sometimes it feels like we need instructions on how to manage these energetic ones.

We’re going to break this up into 4 levels and talk about each one. These will apply to each kiddo no matter how old they are—these are universal truths. Join in together so we can say, what is our next best step?

What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode

• How kindness helps...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Not just because our kiddos shift and change but also because we change.”

“What do you want to be remembered for and known for as being a dad and what do you want your kids to develop into?”

“You’re just going to speak the truth. We’re going to do it with love, without shame.”

065 | Us & Kids: DAD - Defined

Intro 

On today’s show, we are going to focus on the word and the attributes of being Dad. Now even if you’re not a dad, don’t check out because you probably know a dad somewhere. And as you listen to it you can learn ways to encourage, affirm, and be delighted with the dad attributes that are all around you. 

If you are a dad, remember that being a dad is one of the most challenging jobs around and that everyday is different. Step up and do your best and some days your best looks better than other days. You are growing and changing but also your kiddos...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “From the minute they're born, we begin to influence their brain.”

 “Sadly, because this need to connect deeply is so significant that if it is not filled nicely with mom and dad then that need can carry over to other spaces.”

 “Demonstrate and live with intentional good behavior so that they can copy you. This is when bonding happens.”

035 | Us & Kids: How Velcro Helps Us Be Better Parents

Intro  

On today’s show, we're moving on to part two of this two part series. In the last podcast, we were talking about Velcro. We talked about how to be connected with your spouse, and about how to clean up those connections in case being velcro’d together isn't working very well. Sometimes there are too many fuzzies and other things that are blocking the good connections. 

We're going to continue that today, but today we're going to talk about bonding or Velcro...

Inspiration from this Episode

“We can feel like deer in the headlights. We're not making that adjustment so quickly.”

“It can become very tempting for us to take on the blame for things gone wrong.”

“How did your parents handle change? How did people that you admire handle change?”

029 | Us & Kids: Perspective, Childhood Beliefs, and Generating Change: Adults

Intro 

On today’s show, we talk about all the changes that we have to make. How do we make them and stay an adult? Sometimes there are so many changes. They come at us so fast that just even the change of what's for supper can tip us over. We wonder how that can happen? Why can't I just stay self-composed for that little thing?

This shouldn't be such a big deal. Well, sometimes we have these thoughts, right that everything goes wrong. Even when we're adults, and it can be a fairly common thought when there are lots of big changes and we're not really sure about...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Their brains are much like ours in terms of, always gathering information, always trying to figure things out.”

“They have ways to act it, but no ways to say it.”

“Anything that's different for you, they probably are picking up in some ways.”

028 | Us & Kids: Helping Kids Adjust to Life Changes

Intro 

On today’s show, we're going to talk about adjusting to life changes and what happens to our kids. We all know, life changes and usually not when we want it to. And, if we have littles, then life changes for them too. And, what might be a good change for mom and dad might seem like chaos and disconnections for our little ones.  

Every little milestone that our kiddos acheive or strive for often comes with a lot of hard times in their little minds. All of the things that come simply and easily to us are huge challenges that they face constantly. It takes about 3 months for a change...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Adjustment to a newborn is a big deal for our brains and our bodies.”

“They’re not trying to make your life miserable, they’re trying to figure it out too.”

“Don’t always talk about the baby. Talk about the future. Talk about real life plans.”

026 | Us & Kids: The Infant Between Us

Intro 

On today’s show, this is going to be an interesting episode especially if you are a new parent. We are going to be talking about infancy and adding an infant to our lives and family. It’s not always an easy adjustment to bring a little one home. People like to think about all the great and fun things that come with a new baby arriving.

But we also have to remember that it's hard, it's tiring, and we usually don’t know what’s going on. We usually don’t really know how to care for this new being but we sure have to figure it out quickly. It can be very easy to...

Inspiration from this Episode:

“Children grow about one million neuro connections every second during their first few years of life.”

“Confidence builds that curiosity of wanting to try new things.”

002 | Us & Kids: Alive After Five—Kids

Intro 

 On today’s show, we’re focusing on the number ‘5’ and why it’s important in the connections in your marriage and with your kids. We’re going to be talking about the first 5 years of raising a child. Obviously, there is an infinite amount of things we could discuss about the first 5 years of their lives, so let’s take a broad look at everything as a whole. 

What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode: 

•  Where the number 5 shows up in our lives.
• How we can influence their development even after 5.
• How to understand the basic architecture of their brains.
• The importance of consistency from you, for your kids.

Inspiration from this Episode:

“You can indeed be married forever while parenting together.”

“Repairing is doable at any point.”

001 | Us & Kids: Marriage Forever While Parenting Together 

Intro 

Welcome to our podcast. My name is Jan Talen and I’m a marriage and family therapist (for 35 years!). On the Us & Kids podcast, I'll be sharing my professional knowledge and expertise along with life stories to help you become the best married, parenting team.

On today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about how to have a great marriage even while parenting together. 

When we first have kids, everything changes. The first few years of becoming a mom and dad is filled with craziness. Schedules become unpredictable, our sleep patterns change, and we are tired and anxious. Our social life changes, getting a sitter becomes hard and leaving the house seems unmanageable. Finances typically change for many...