Values are extremely valuable when it comes to understanding others.  They are also very valuable when it comes to communicating as a parent and within our marriages.  

But, we have to start with defining a value, and then understanding that how we live out that value will also impact how others (kids, spouses/partners) build relationships with us. 

If we value kindness, but are rude to those we don't know, or diss our spouse in public, then others will certainly wonder if they can trust the kindness from us as having integrity. Certainly, who we say we are is far more impactful when we also live into that identity.

So, our show today is about values, and how to live them well so that our kiddos can also develop the identity and character that is strong and true.

Listen in, share it with a friend, and use a tip or two for becoming more of your best self!

Things you will learn:

* Teaching values is an everyday event.

* Kids learn by doing, talking, and copying...

Yes, today’s show is for adults, but still rated very G.  

Why?  Because staying in the adult-world after having a baby is really important to your identity as an adult, and your identity with your spouse.  

And those adult identities are also very important to the development of your kiddos as they grow up.  

Yep, I’m hinting at what happens in the room where your (adult) bed is…and how to be sure you still have a space and place that is just “yours” - just you and your spouse’s.  

Of course, to get to that room, mindset and space, some things have to also happen outside of that room like…
Compassion - it helps with the passion, 

Connection - it helps with the “ahem” connection

Attention - it helps with paying attention - like staying awake and mentally there, not elsewhere.

Enjoy using what you re-remember because it’s fun and helps to keep you married well and forever,...

Do you like to fight?...with your spouse or your kiddos?  Or are you a bit weary of it all?

On the show today we are talking about those fights that seem to just recycle, over and over.  Sometimes, it (seems) settled for years, or months - other times, “it” was settled - for maybe 15 minutes. 

And it’s sooo tiring, confusing, draining. 
Are these fights even finish-able? 

Listen in and learn why these conversations replay repeatedly - and learn the trick to solving them, for real, by being real. 

 Be sure to share this with your friend, and your spouse!

 What you will learn

 ** And… if you are the listener… you would take the time to really listen.

** Arguments that come back to us over and over again are usually ignoring a question that is core to the relationship.

**And that question usually is, "Do I matter to you?"  

Insights

** So we did some Division of labor. 

**It is okay to revisit...

Do you like to read?  Do you like to read those kiddo books over and over?  What do you like to read - short articles? only something funny? Poetry? History? Romance?

Reading is a skill we learn early  - and we need for a lifetime.  And reading other humans is also a skill we learn early - and need for a lifetime.  

And reading words and relationship is a very complex brain skill.  Organizing and understanding all the constructs within language takes us several years to master. 

And understanding all the ways that our spouse or kiddos relate to us is an ongoing, interesting process!  

There are emotions, words, tones, body language, eyes and facial look that all intertwine to make a conversation, even with a little person, full of info that we have to sort through, and decide what to pay attention to!

So today’s show is about how to read other’s language - words, face and body - more accurately. 

Like reading, this...

Remember back when you had the energy to be romantic?  Remember when someone brought your roses - just for fun, not to try to smooth over a rough night or conversation?

Romance and parenting can feel like oil and water  - they might co-exist but they don’t mix.  Many couples begin to believe that the need for sleep and just keeping the household going is the best it’s going to get…for the next maybe 18 years.  

Oh my!  That’s a long time! 

So, enjoy today’s show as we talk about 4 aspects and actions you can do each day to keep your relationship blossoming into beauty - even on the thorny days!

Inspiration:

*Your relationship, your connection with your spouse is more important than whether or not you are right.

*Do you know a little something you can do for your spouse that might seem insignificant to you but really meaningful to them?

*Soft is like gentle. With gentleness, we know that we are strong. Gentle...

Inspiration from this Episode

“A strong marriage is in part when there is a steady and strong you.  You, as an individual - who can manage emotions, thoughts and words with reasonable grace and truth.”

“The most important unit within your family is the us. - the two of you”

"When you're in unity, when you're connected with each other in this way, it's easier to work together. It's easier to sacrificially support and to move towards mutual goals." 

110 | Us & Kids: Us & Kids: Your “Us” in 2022

Intro 

 On today’s show, we’ll be talking about how to enhance your marriage through the letters U and S.  We’ll think about using unity, understanding, personal growth of yourself with strength and steadiness, no matter the chaos, moods or weariness.   And, together, you will become more united and stable.  

 What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode

• How to feel stronger...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“When we loosen up, lots of good things can happen and our worlds will not fall apart.” 

“We know that your brain changes when you force a little smile upon your face. So begin with a smile.” 

“Faith in themselves that they could do this, that things would be okay in the end.”

107 | Us & Kids: Loosen Up Day 

Intro  

Let me ask you, are you ready? For what you might ask. For learning about how to loosen up and lighten up, even in the midst of November and December. What do you think when you hear those words loosen up, lighten up? Do you just get angry, like, well, who has time for that? 

This day was made to help us find our lighter side while locking up our serious side for a few hours. When we loosen up, lots of good things can happen and our worlds will not fall apart. They might in fact, even improve a bit.

What You’ll Learn in Today’s...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“The kids also see that when their parents value their effort, it encourages them.” 

“Kiddos grow up respecting your authority because you've demonstrated it kindly.”

“We help our kids learn to understand that other kids have feelings that we have to pay attention to.”

102 | Us & Kids: Raising Gritty Kids

Intro  

On today’s show, we're talking about how to help your kids be successful. We sort of think of it in terms of how to help your kids be gritty. How do you help them get along in life? So we're going to split this into two different thoughts. 

This is more about parenting, that it isn't necessarily about what's happening for kiddos. It's more about how to help you parent well. The first part of this podcast is about what's happening for you. And for that adult relationship between you and your spouse or your partner.

What You’ll Learn in...

Inspiration from this Episode

“If we understand the depth of the wound, we will also understand the depth of forgiveness that we are looking for.”

“I'm going to be calm, cool, and collected. If my emotions are in trouble, I'm going to pause.”

“Realize that forgiving others is often a supernatural and spiritual experience or exercise.”

097 | Us & Kids: 10 Tips for Forgiving

Intro 

Forgiveness is messy, challenging and necessary. That hurt from that person will never leave me. I am scared and damaged for life because of what they did. I will never be whole, worthy or valued because of their ...words, actions, opinions. This week’s podcast will help you get out of the painfulness of unforgiveness and into the freedom that comes with granting forgiveness.

We've done some of our 10 tips around how you talk, listen and play. Different things like all of that can feed right into how we forgive. So I’m going to invite...

Inspiration from this Episode

“As we get to know that information, we’ll be able to change what else were thinking and what else we need to say.”

“Now we can work towards a picture and an idea and a goal more.”

“There are approaches that build oxytocin, and oxytocin builds the idea that we’re connected.”

096 | Us & Kids: 10 Tips for Talking

Intro 

On today’s show, we're going to do 10 tips about talking. We're going to borrow some from the corporate world and the neurophysiological world. We talk about speaking in our course but we’re going to take it a little differently and apply what we know from corporate studies of communication in groups and upper management and apply those to our own relationships. 

I think it's fairly easily done and it's just a little different way of thinking about things that often can open up and help us just make those 3-5% shifts that make such a difference in our...