Inspiration from this Episode

“The boat has a structure around it to help it float, even in stormy weather. Our relationships also need some structure around it to help it float - even in stormy weather.”

“As they grow in understanding your language and grow in their own language be patient.”

“Remember to be in control of yourself. Because as you lead, they will follow.”

043 | Us & Kids: Boundaries

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking all about boundaries. It’s hard to believe that half of 2020 is done! Do you just feel overrun? The kids do what they want, don’t want to do what you want them to do...and cooperation is at someone else’s house...certainly not yours! So, what to do?  

Do you just give up - Oh my and oh well….maybe we’ll reset next year? I am not sure it’s worth the argument and fight and tension. The easy way out is their way, even if it’s not a good...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “The bonding or the connections with your little one starts with pregnancy.”

 “It gives the two of you, husband and wife, a way to bond around this little one, and starts to build that base for the two of you.”

 “So they want to connect to your smell, your touch, your eyes, and your voice. It settles them down.”

042 | Us & Kids: Father’s Day

Intro 

On today’s show, our topic is about fathers. I know Father's Day just passed last week and so we just wanted to let you keep thinking about it. There can be a lot of pressure around dads. And sometimes it's important to understand “What's my role in this?”. So I wonder what do you think, is being a dad great? Is having your husband next to you, as the dad, wonderful? Or are you both as husband and wife a little confused by what's the role of a dad?

Some people think it’s easier than being a mom. Well,...

Inspiration from this Episode

“There's a hole in the bucket but for us, there might be a hole in our heart.”

“We often have to throw out seven ideas before we come up with a reasonably good idea and then that probably has to be fine tuned.”

“They're going to tell me about the hole and I'm going to listen carefully so that I understand it.”

041 | Us & Kids: Hole in the Bucket

Intro 

On today’s show, we're talking about a hole in our bucket. I'm curious, do you know this song? It's about two characters - Henry and Eliza. Henry has a leaky bucket and Lysa just wants him to fix it. The song describes a deadlock situation where the things you need are dependent on the things you currently don’t have.

My question for you is, are there decisions made in your house that sounds like this song. Is there one parent who always needs something done or fixed and just wants it finished now? Does the other parent always seem to...

Inspiration from this Episode

“What if there's a way that can bring in encouragement and safety and calm amidst the chaos of your home?”

“And sometimes, because we feel like we're limited in that emotional energy, we're hesitant to give it away.”

“So that you can bring some calm, maybe some gentle humor, maybe some reassurance that everything will be okay.”

040 | Us & Kids: Donut Day

Intro 

On today’s show, we’re going to talk about donuts. What does National Donut Day have to do with being married forever while you parent together? National Donut Day is on June 5th or the first Friday of June every year. Interestingly enough it comes out of the Salvation Army sending donuts throughout the camp during WWI, and the troops would enjoy a taste of home that brought encouragement and emotional support and joy.

Now you’re probably wondering, what does this have to do with our joy of eating donuts in our...

Inspiration from this Episode

“And what's supposed to have been built in its place while they dissipate is really good emotional bonding.”

“By using really good listening skills, along with saying what they knew was going on emotionally, they bonded and connected in even better and stronger ways."

“They wanted their compassion and care and empathy to be able to help them through the rough spots.”

039 | Us & Kids: D is for Divorce

Intro 

On today’s show we are talking about the D seed of divorce. When does this snarly seed get planted - and how can we weed it out before it overtakes our thoughts, reactions and relationships. The Divorce seed does not need to stay. Take a few minutes to learn how to pull it out and keep your marriage steady, strong and safe.

This is exactly the reason why I developed Us and Kids and the DNA for Fun communications course. The seeds are planted, often in those first few years of parenting, and...

Inspiration from this Episode

“They have less emotional knowledge, and less emotional awareness. Not necessarily less emotional experience.”

“I want them to be able to absorb pain and use pain in a healthy and okay way.“

“Because I wanted her to be empowered by talking about it out loud on her own, forming her own thoughts, gathering her own courage to say her own experience and letting me just be the listener.”

038 | Us & Kids: Grief in a Child

Intro 

On today’s show, the topic we're talking about today isn't necessarily a really happy one. But it's a rather common one. And the topic is about grief or loss for a child and how they experience it, but also how we can help them develop skills to get through it. We usually think we know what grief means to us or other adults we know, but it might look a lot different to the kids in our life. 

To children, the loss or grief happens because someone or something...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Social distancing has made me lonely. Zoom calls, although better than nothing, don't cut it for me in the long haul.”

“Being connected to them, seeing them eye to eye, hearing their voices in automatic direct time and in the real same space.”

“Caring for my friends and about my friends and my family is natural human behavior and it's healthy.”

037 | Us & Kids: Angsty = Anger and Anxiety

Intro 

On today’s show, we are doing things a bit differently. We aren’t going to focus on our marriage, nor are we going to talk about parenting much. What we are going to be diving into is us, and how that can inevitably affect our partner and kids. 

It can be hard during this time to not get stuck in the spinning circle of that anxiety and then being angry for feeling anxious. We want to make sure that we manage our emotions and that our emotions aren’t managing us. When we are more...

Inspiration from this Episode

“He knew that the best thing he could do for me was listen, without many words.”

“How can I help you? And that question, may not have an answer, like I don't really have an answer for him, but it means I'm in it with you.”

“I understand you can't control everything and move forward based on what you can know and do as you move forward.”

036 | Us & Kids: Uncertainty Can Make us Crazy

Intro 

On today’s show, let’s be certain about what we’re talking about - uncertainty. There is so much going on and changing everyday in our homes, our hearts and our relationships. We are told one thing and then what feels like almost instantly that answer changes. 

Do we just have to sit and spin in circles because nothing's for sure? Or is there a way to keep ourselves calm and keep on track? When we take the time to understand that we can’t control everything, it helps us regain...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “From the minute they're born, we begin to influence their brain.”

 “Sadly, because this need to connect deeply is so significant that if it is not filled nicely with mom and dad then that need can carry over to other spaces.”

 “Demonstrate and live with intentional good behavior so that they can copy you. This is when bonding happens.”

035 | Us & Kids: How Velcro Helps Us Be Better Parents

Intro  

On today’s show, we're moving on to part two of this two part series. In the last podcast, we were talking about Velcro. We talked about how to be connected with your spouse, and about how to clean up those connections in case being velcro’d together isn't working very well. Sometimes there are too many fuzzies and other things that are blocking the good connections. 

We're going to continue that today, but today we're going to talk about bonding or Velcro...

Inspiration from this Episode

“It's blocking you from getting other people's warm fuzzies and saying that those things from those people are genuine.”

“Your fear that they will disappear sort of like the people that helped you in the past limits you from really attaching nicely.”

“They have something to tell you about your past and they could also tell you something about the future.”

034 | Us & Kids: Velcro and Marriage: Cleaning Up Marriage Love

Intro 

On today’s show, we're going to talk about Velcro and about staying connected. So I have a question. Do you think your home life can just naturally get better without any outside support? I know that you keep on trying this thing and then that thing and there are two steps forward and there's one step back.

Each time we know you're trying to improve the connections with your kiddos and your spouse and often it can just feel like a moving target. I hope that for the...